VALLURI

Lessons in Logic

2010-10-24T23:24:00.002+05:30

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

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I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?

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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

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'Your future depends on your dreams'
So go to sleep

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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

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'Hard work never killed anybody'
But why take the risk

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'Work fascinates me'
I can look at it for hours

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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. Why learn.

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A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....

what more can I say........

use of work telephones

2010-10-19T21:48:00.001+05:30

The phone bill was exceptionally high and

the man of the house called a family meeting...

On a Saturday morning...

after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So - what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones!!!!!

GOD & PRAY

2010-10-06T22:32:00.003+05:30

An Excellent Quote Written in a Prayer Hall :

"God has Time To Listen, Do you have Time to Pray..!!"

Software Engineer

2010-10-06T22:30:00.000+05:30

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Can’t you see the warning? "Smoking is injurious to health"

The engineer says...........

Any guesses !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We bother only about ‘Errors’ not ‘Warnings’ !!!

TRUTH MACHINE

2010-09-30T22:01:00.001+05:30

A TRUTH telling machine is bought. It works in the following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine will remain silent (it won’t give any sound)

If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given in front of the lie machine. Here it goes......

Bengali :- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’'

Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'
Lie machine:- no sound (truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think I can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Madrasi:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-no sound (truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’

Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:- 'Errrrrrrrrrr’.

It's called MINDSET

2010-09-30T21:00:00.001+05:30

Let us be tricky....

2010-09-25T17:19:00.004+05:30

Man
------------------

Board

Ans. = man overboard

Stand
2. ------------

i

Ans. = I understand

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

Ans. = reading between the lines

4. r
road
a
d

Ans. = cross road

5. cycle
cycle
cycle

Ans. = tricycle

0
6. ------------
M.D.

Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

knee
7. ------------

light

Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)

ground
8. ------------ --------- ---

feet feet feet feet feet feet

Ans. = six feet underground

9. he's / himself

Ans. = he's by himself

10. ecnalg

Ans. = backward glance

11. death ..... life

Ans. = life after death

12. THINK

Ans. think big !!

And the last but not least

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...

Ans. long time no 'C' (see)

Man, the omnipotent

2010-09-23T22:55:00.002+05:30

Woman has Manin it;

Mrs. has Mr. in it;

Female has Malein it;

She has Hein it;

Madam has Adam in it;

Life's music

2010-09-22T22:35:00.000+05:30

Life is like a piano,

White keys are happy moments and

Black keys are sad moments.

But remember both keys are played together to give

Sweet music in life...

Perspective, a moral story

2010-09-22T22:31:00.001+05:30

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the
trip?'

'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.

'Oh yeah,' said the son.

'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father

The son answered:

'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-01-03T22:52:00.000+05:30

Happy New Year Glitter Graphics

About TELENGANA in realistic manner

2009-12-26T16:22:00.003+05:30

There is an interesting Questions and Answers on TELENGANA. I am placing the link here and inviting the discussion.

Donkey's story

2009-12-26T14:11:00.001+05:30

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL:
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Top 28 things an Indian does after returning from abroad:

2009-12-25T23:19:00.003+05:30

Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
Says Hey instead of Hi.
Says Yogurt instead of Curd.
Says Cab instead of Taxi.
Says Candy instead of Chocolate.
Says Cookie instead of Biscuit.
Says 'Free Way' instead of Highway.
Says got to go instead of Have to go.
Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four).
Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on complaining about it every time he steps out.
Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilometers, and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs).
Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45 times).
Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet.
When need to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), repeats Zee several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee.
Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!
Makes fun of 'Indian Standard టైం' and ‘Indian Road’ Conditions.
Even after 2 months, complaints about Jet Lag.
Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.
Tries to drink 'డైట్' Coke instead of ‘Normal’ Coke.
Tries to complain about any thing in ‘India’ as if he is experiencing it for the first time.
Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.
Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to ‘India’, even after 4 months of arrival.
Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one is that …. Always tries to begin conversation with; In US ....or When was in US...

AND SO MANY………

Nice Quotes......Is'nt it.

2009-12-20T16:50:00.004+05:30

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
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Love affairs:
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
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Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
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Divorce:
Future tense of marriage
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Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
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Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
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Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
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Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.
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Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
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Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
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Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
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Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
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Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
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Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
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Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
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Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
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Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
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Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
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Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
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Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
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Optimist :
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
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Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
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Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
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Father:
A banker provided by nature.
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Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
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Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
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Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
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Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .
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Disclaimer: These quotes I have collected elsewhere and not my own. _

A wonderful story about MARRIAGE

2009-12-19T14:56:00.003+05:30

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Priya’s mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: “Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there’s something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it’s about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I’ve done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you’ve had.”

Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
….. and so on…

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn’t talk much. They regretted that they had married the nastiest people in the world…. no more love…Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Priya talked to her Mother:
”Mom, we can’t stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can’t imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!’”
Mother: “Sure, girl, that’s no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can’t stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn’t keep any record of such a poor marriage.”

Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: -
‘This is the day I notice how much I’ve loved you through out all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.’
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone through all the good years in their life.
“When you fall, in any way, don’t see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped”.

Disclaimer: Since I liked the above story, I copied and posted in my blog. I do not know the other of this story. If any body has objection, kindly let me know by way of comment.

If there was Ctrl+Z in life........

2009-10-08T23:05:00.000+05:30

Nostalgic memories of those 'good old days' – world has changed and we
also changed for the world !!!
Are you missing those days? Sometimes I do

Doordarshan Logo

Doordarshan' s Screensaver

Malgudi Days

Yeh jo hai zindagi

Dekh Bhai Dekh

Ramayan

Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

Buniyad

Turning Point

Bharath Ek Khoj

Alif Laila

Byomkesh Bakshi

Tehkikaat

He Man

Salma Sultana (DD News Reader)

Vicco turmeric,
Nahin cosmetic
Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream

Washin powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma
Doodh si safedi, Nirma se aayi
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaaye

I'm a Complan Boy (Shahid Kapoor) and
I'm a Complan Girl (Ayesha Takia)

Surabhi : Renuka Sahane and Siddharth

Then were 'Mungerilal ke hasin sapane' and 'karamchand' ...'Vikram Betal', etc.

How did one survive growing up in the 80’s and 90's?

We had no seatbelts, no airbags..

Cycling was like a breath of fresh air…

No safety helmets, knee pads or elbow pads, with plenty of cardboards
between spokes to make it sound like a motorbike…

When thirsty we only drank road side tap water, bottled water was still a mystery…

We kept busy collecting bits & pieces so we could build all sort of
things … and we were fearless on our bicycles even when the brakes
failed going downhill…

We were showing off how tough we are, by how high we could climb trees
& then jumping down….It was great fun….

We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before
dark, in time for dinner…

We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bicycle.

We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other…. How?

We lost teeth, broke arms & legs, we got cuts and bruises and bloody
noses…. nobody complained as we had so much fun, it wasn't anybody's
fault, only ours

We ate everything in sight, cakes, bread, chocolate, ice-cream, sweet
sugary drinks, fruits.. yet, we stayed skinny by fooling around.

And if one of us was lucky to find a 1 litre coca cola bottle we all
had a swig from it & guess what? Nobody picked up any germs...

We did not have Play Stations, MP3, Nintendo's, I-Pods, Video games,
99 Cable TV channels, DVD's, Home Cinema, Home Computers, Laptops,
Chat-rooms, Internet, etc ...

BUT, we had REAL FRIENDS!!!!

We called on friends to come out to play, never rang the doorbell,
just went around the backdoor…

We played with sticks and stones, played cowboys and Indians, doctors
and nurses, hide and seek, soccer games, over and over again…

When we failed our exams we were given a second chance by simply
repeating the same grade…without visiting psychiatrists, psychologists
or counselors…

Such were the days…

We had freedom, success, disappointments and responsibilities. ..

Most of all, we learned to respect others…

Are YOU from that generation ??
Hope, may this post will help to forget the stress that surrounds us
these days….and just for a few moments puts a smile to our faces as
we remember what life was really like in the good old days……

peaceful smile

2009-08-07T22:55:00.001+05:30

In the picture, just look at their condition.. no place to sleep, still they have

made some space for d cat n d dog... water poring from the roof but still

each 1 of them have a peaceful smile on their face.. Simply amazing!!!!!

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,

but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

Keep Smiling Always.

moving ahead

2009-08-07T22:51:00.001+05:30

When people talk behind your back, what does it mean??

Simple! It means that you are two steps ahead of them!!

So, keep moving ahead in Life!!

2009-03-18T22:34:00.000+05:30

Sardarji.....a ha ha ha...

2009-03-15T23:04:00.004+05:30

Sardar and his friend
Friend: Sardarji! Aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte hai?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke baith jata hun.
Friend: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To AC on kar leta hun.
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Sardarji's pray
A sardar prays daily for 4 hours.
"Hey! Vahe Guru muje lottery lagade."
After 4 years Vahe Guru angrily appeares and said
"Khoti de puttar ek bari ticket to le le" .
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Bombs and Sardars
Two sardarjis raste pe jarahe our on ko 2 bomb mile.
1st Sardar: chal e 2 bomb police ko deke aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: arey bewakoof, jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi bomb mila tha.
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Sardarji and Doctor
One day Sardarji consults the Doctor and says : "Mujhe ek problem hai doctor saab"
Doctor enquired : "Kya problem hai?"
Sardar replied: "Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta"
Doctor exclaimed: "aisa kab hota hai?"
Sardarji tells the truth: "Phone karte waqt"

Keep Smiling

2008-12-29T23:22:00.003+05:30

"The person who is always smiling doesn't mean that he has no problems.

But the smile shows that he has ability to overcome all those problems.."

Keep Smiling and Have a lovely day ahead..!!

sardarji

2008-12-04T22:36:00.004+05:30

Sardarji has visited Registrar Office to obtain birth certificate for his new born son. Clerk asked the details of new born baby.
Sardarji: “Mother- Sikh, Fathe- Sikh and Baby- Chineese”
Clerk exclaimed “How can you say Chinese? When both parents are Sikh”
“News paper says.” Sardarji replied “every fourth person born on the earth now is a chineese and it is my fourth issue”.

*************************************************
Sardarji went to an Industrial exhibition. He enquired about a machine, which he thinks to be useful in his daily routine.
Salesman: “This machine will reduce your work by a half”
Sardiarji : “Please give me two of them”.

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A ghati Sardarji wanted to buy a television and visits an electronic shop in the nearby town.
Sardarji: “Do you have colour TVS?”
Shop keeper replied : “sure”
Sardarji: “Give me a green one please”.

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A foreign visitor to a Sardarji: “ Have you ever read Shakespear?”
Sardarji back to him “No…Who wrote it?”

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Cricket loving Sardarji to his friend : “…….I lost Rs.8000/- in a bet yesterday”
His friend: “How come?”
Sardarji : “The match is being shown on TV, I bet Rs. 5000/-”
Friend: “ But, that’s only Rs. 5000/-”
Sardarji: “…….yaar, I bet on highlights too”.

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Appraisal report of next in the line

2008-12-03T22:26:00.002+05:30

To ,
The HR Manager

Venky, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Venky works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Venky never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time... Often Venky takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Venky is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Venky can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Venky be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible..
Yours Truly,
Project Manager
NB: Kindly ignore my previous email ,That stupid idiot Venky was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today.
For his appraisal, kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13)
Consider this as a true assessment of him..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To ,
The HR Manager
Venky, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Venky works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Venky never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Venky takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Venky is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Venky can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Venky be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
Yours Truly,
Project Manager

Always remember

2008-07-30T22:27:00.001+05:30

Many ways to stop all those irritating calls

2008-02-22T23:44:00.003+05:30

After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can all him/her back.
Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... louder!
Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............"
Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number and give him the ICICI call center number.

JUST FOR LAUGH...

2008-02-12T23:11:00.000+05:30

SARDARJI & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sardarji : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardarji: mmm... EVERY YEAR
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SARDARJI IN INTERVIEW
Manager asked to Sardarji at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardarji replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X
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SARDARJI & LONDON TRIP
After returning back from a foreign trip,
Sardarji asked his wife: “Do I look like a foreigner?”
Wife: “No! Why?”
Sardarji: “In London, a lady asked me, "Are you a foreigner?”. That's why.”
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SARDARJI & TOURIST
One tourist from America asked to Sardarji whether any great man born in this Village or not.
Sardarji replied: "No sir, only babies were born here."
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SARDARJI & HIS EXPERIMENT
Sardarji was experimenting with a cockroach. First he cut off one of it's leg and told “WALK! WALK!”
Cockroach walked. Then he cutoff it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. At last he cut off it's fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly Sardarji said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf”.
Sardarji become a saint!
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SARDARJI & DRIVER
When Sardarji was traveling with his wife in a taxi. Driver adjusted the rear view mirror.
Sardarji shouted at him: "Are you trying to see my wife? Come sit in my place and I will drive".
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SARDARJI GOES TO HOTEL
Sardarji went to a restaurant. To wash hands he went to the washbasin.
There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Sardarji pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SARDARJI & INTERVIEWER
Interviewer: Just imagine your in 20th floor in a building, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardarji: It's simple sir! I will just stop my imagination.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ye hai Indian Railways

2008-02-09T23:56:00.000+05:30

Have you noticed the comment in 'Spicejet' advt.

An Intelligent Question

2008-02-07T20:48:00.000+05:30

There is a very very tall coconut tree, and there are four animals:

King Kong, Ape, Orangutan and a monkey pass by.

They have a competition to see
Who is the fastest to get the banana.

Can you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

Try and answer within 30 seconds.

Got your answer? Yes, then

Scroll down to see the analysis.
v

v
v
v
v
v

If your answer is ....

Orangutan = You are sooo dull / stupid
Ape = You are Foolish

Monkey = You are an Idiot

Kong = You are stupid

BUT Why ?????
‘coz

Coconut tree, doesn't have bananas ... ??? ...

It's obvious you're stressed by ur work. Ha…ha….ha.........

Public Money

2007-11-20T22:47:00.000+05:30

How our India is utilizing the money, which was collected from people,,,,,,

Have a look at this Salary & Govt. Concession for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000/-

Expense for Constitution per month : Rs. 10,000/-

Office expenditure per month : Rs. 14,000/-

Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : Rs. 48,000/-
(Ex: For a visit from Kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km)

Daily DA TA during parliament meets: Rs. 500/- per day

Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free
(For any number of times) (All over India)

Charge for Business Class in flights: Free for 40 trips / year
(With wife or P.A.)

Rent for MP hostel at Delhi: Free

Electricity costs at home: Free up to 50,000 units

Local phone call charge: Free up to 1, 70,000 calls.

TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification ] per year : Rs. 32,00,000/- [i.e. Rs. 2.66 lakh/month]

TOTAL expense for 5 years : Rs. 1,60,00,000/-

For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years :
Rs. 8,54,40,00,000/- (nearly Rs. 855.00 crores)

This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities.......

And this is the present condition of our country:
Rs. 855.00 corers could make their life livable!!

Think of the great democracy we have.............

Chanakya's Quotes - Worth reading …

2007-11-12T23:35:00.000+05:30

"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first
and Honest people are victimised first."

*********** ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you."
************ ************* ********* ********* ********* ***
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
************ ********* ********* ************** ********* ***
"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, what the results might be and will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
************ ********* ********* ********* ************ ***
"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
************ ********* ********* ********* ************ ***
"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction." *************************************** ********* ***
"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years.
For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
"Books are as useful to a stupid person
as a mirror is useful to a blind person."

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ***
"Education is the best friend.
Education beats the beauty and the youth." **********************************************************************

Indian Hell…..

2007-11-12T23:06:00.000+05:30

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"

He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?". He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

*
*
*
*
*
*

*
Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,

someone has stolen all the nails from the bed
and
the devil is a former Government servant,

so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!! !

Boy & Girl

2007-10-11T22:43:00.000+05:30

Boy & Girl in restaurant

Boy :- I Love u
Girl :- I don't Love u
Boy :- Think again ?
Girl :- I told u. No no & no
Boy :- Waiter, bring separate bills.

Girl :- ok ok....... I Love u too......... . !

Anger

2007-10-11T20:58:00.000+05:30

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back.

How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet...

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush.. ..

Think twice before we judge others

2007-10-02T22:57:00.000+05:30

One night a woman was waiting at the airport for several hours in order to catch her connecting flight. While waiting she bought a book and a pack of biscuits and found a place to sit.

She was deep into her book, when suddenly she realized that there was a young man sitting next to her who was stretching his hand, with no concern whatsoever, and grabbing the pack of cookies lying between them. He started to eat them one by one. Not wanting to make a fuss about it she decided to ignore him.

The woman, slightly bothered, ate the cookies and watched the clock, while the young and shameless- thief of biscuits was also finishing them. The woman started to get really angry at this point and thought "If I wasn't such a good and educated person, I would have given this daring man a black eye by now."

Every time she ate a biscuit, he had one too. The dialogue between their eyes continued and when only one biscuit was left, she wondered what was he going to do. Softly and with a nervous smile, the young man grabbed the last biscuit and broke it in two. He offered one half to the woman while he ate the other half. Briskly she took the biscuit and thought, "What an insolent man! How uneducated! He didn't even thank me!"

She had never met anybody so fresh and heaved a sigh of relief when her flight was announced. She grabbed her bags and went towards the boarding gate refusing to look back to where that insolent thief was seated. After boarding the plane and and being nicely seated, she looked for her book which was nearly finished by now. While looking into her bag she was totally surprised to find her pack of biscuits nearly intact.

"If my biscuits are here", she realised with a sinking heart, "those that we were eating belonged to him and he tried to share them with me." Too late to apologize to the young man, she realized with pain, that it was she who had been insolent, uneducated and a thief, and not him.

How many times in our lives, have we known with certainty that something happened in a certain way, only to discover later that it wasn't true?

How many times has our lack of trust within us made us judge other people unfairly with our conceited ideas, often far removed from reality.

That is why we have to think twice before we judge others. Let's always give others the benefit of the doubt before we think badly of them.

An office boy!

2007-10-02T22:51:00.000+05:30

A jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at a very big firm.

The HR manager interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. "You are hired" he said, give me your email address, and I'll send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start. The man replied "I don't have a computer, neither an email".

I'm sorry, said the HR manager, if you don't have an email that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job. The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 US in his pocket.

He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 KG tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation 3 times, and returned home with $60 US. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubles or triples every day. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chooses a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied: 'I don't have an email'. The broker replied curiously, you don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?

The man thought for a while, and replied: an office boy!

The moral of this story:

1: Internet is not the solution to your life.
2: If you don't have internet and you work hard you can be a millionaire.

When our father irritates us

2007-10-02T22:40:00.000+05:30

An old man was sitting in the courtyard of his house along with his son who had received a high education.
Suddenly a crow perched on a wall of the house.
The father asked the son: What is this?
The son replied: It is a crow.
After a little while the father again asked the son: What is this?
The son said: It is a crow.

After a few minutes the father asked his son the third time: What is this?
The son said: Father, I have just now told you that this is a crow.

After a little while the old father again asked his son the fourth time: what is this?
By this time some statement of irritation was felt in the son's tone when he rebuffed his father: Father! It is a crow, a crow.

A little after the father again asked his son: What is this?
This time the son replied to his father with a vein of temper: Father, you are always repeating the same question; although I have told you so many times that it is a crow. Are you not able to understand this?

The father went to his room and came back with an old diary. Opening a page he asked his son to read what was written.

What the son read were the following words written in the diary:
'Today my little son was sitting with me in the courtyard, when a crow came there. My son asked me twenty-five times what it was and I told him twenty-five times that it was a crow and I did not feel at all irritated. I rather felt affection for my innocent child.'

The father then explained to his son the difference between a father's and a son's attitude. While you were a little child you asked me this question twenty-five times and I felt no irritation in replying to the question twenty-five times and when today I asked you the same question only five times, you felt irritated, annoyed and impatient with me.

Be careful who you associate with.

2007-10-02T22:31:00.000+05:30

A Scorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a Turtle to carry him on his back across a river.

"Are you crazy?" exclaimed the Turtle. "You'll sting me while I'm swimming and I'll drown."

"My dear turtle," laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, You would drown and I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?"

"You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!"

The scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle resignedly said: "Do you mind if I ask you something? You said there'd be no Logic in your stinging me. Then why did you do it?"

"It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion sadly replied. "It's just my character."

WINNERS VERSUS LOSERS

2007-10-01T21:55:00.000+05:30

The Winner is always part of the answer;

The Loser is always part of the problem.

*********

The Winner always has a program;

The Loser always has an excuse.

*********
The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";

The Loser says, "That is not my job."

*********

The Winner sees an answer for every problem;

The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

*********

The Winner says, “It may be difficult but it is possible ";

The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."

*********

When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";

when a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."

*********

A Winner makes commitments;

A Loser makes promises.

*********

Winners have dreams;

Losers have schemes.

*********

Winners say, “I must do something ";

Losers say, "Something must be done."

*********

Winners are a part of the team;

Losers are apart from the team.

*********

Winners see the gain;

Losers see the pain.

*********

Winners see possibilities;

Losers see problems.

*********

Winners believe in win-win;

Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

*********

Winners see the potential;

Losers see the past.

*********

Winners are like a thermostat;

Losers are like thermometers.

*********

Winners choose what they say;

Losers say what they choose.

*********

Winners use hard arguments but soft words;

Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

*********

Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;

Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

*********

Winners follow the philosophy of empathy:
"Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you";

Losers follow the philosophy:
“Do it to others before they do it to you."

*********

Winners make it happen;

Losers let it happen.

*********

Winners plan and prepare to win.The key word is preparation.

*********

2007-09-27T21:00:00.000+05:30

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

Solve the Puzzle..........

2007-09-21T22:26:00.000+05:30

IT'S A 7 LETTER WORD.
IF WE REMOVE 1 LETTER FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 2 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE 3 LETTERS FROM IT, IT REMAINS SAME.
IF WE REMOVE ALL THE LETTERS FROM IT, STILL IT REMAINS SAME.
WHAT IS IT?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
POSTBOX (he! he! he! he!... )

Diplomatic slap

2007-09-19T21:42:00.000+05:30

Musharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are travellingin a train.
The train goes through a tunnel and it getscompletely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound andthen a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
Thewomen and Manmohan are sitting there lookingperplexed.
Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red froman apparent slap.
All of them remain diplomatic andnobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking: These Pakistani are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharafmust have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking: Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Soniainstead and got slapped.

Musharaf is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya.
She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again ...

life

2007-09-02T18:58:00.001+05:30

Gone are the Days....

2007-09-02T18:43:00.001+05:30

When
The school reopened in June, and we settled in our new desks and benches!

When

We queued up in book depot, and got our new books and notes!

When

We wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.

When

We learnt writing with slates and pencils, and progressed to fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When

We began drawing with crayons and evolved to color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When

We started calculating first with tables and then with Clarke's tables and advanced to Calculators and Computers!

When

We chased one another in the corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms drenched in sweat!

When

W e had lunch in classrooms, corridors, playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When

All the colors in the world, decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When

A single P.T. period in the week's Time-Table was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When

Cricket was played with writing pads as bats, and Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When

Few played kabadi and Kho-Kho in scorching sun, while others simply played book cricket in the Confines of classroom!

Of fights but no conspiracies, Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When

We used to watch Live Cricket telecast, in the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When

Few rushed at 3:45 to conquer window seats in our School bus! While few others had Big Fun, peppermint, Kulfi, milk ice and sharbat at 4 O’clock!

Gone are the days

Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day, and the one-month long preparations for them.

Gone are the days

Of the stressful Quarterly, Half Yearly and Annual Exams, and the most enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days

When we spent almost the whole year writing revision tests of tenth and twelfth standards,

We learnt,

We enjoyed,

We played,

We won,

We lost,

We laughed,

We cried,

We fought,

We thought.

With

So much fun in them, so many friends,

So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days

When we used to talk for hours with our friends!

Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!

Gone are the days

When we played games on the road!

Now we code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days

When we saw stars shining at Night!

Now we see stars when our code doesn't Work!

Gone are the days

When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!

Now we chat in chat rooms.....!

Gone are the days

Where we studied just to pass!

Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days

Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!

Now we have the ATM as well as Credit Card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days

Where we shouted on the road!

Now we don't shout even at home

Gone are the days

Where we got lectures from all!

Now we give lectures to all...!!

Gone are the days

But not the memories, which will be lingering in our hearts

For ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....

Gone are the Days.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, DONT FORGET TO

LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL EXISTS......

How to make a woman happy!!!

2007-08-17T21:04:00.000+05:30

To make a woman happy.....
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A psychologist
15. A pest exterminator
16. A psychiatrist
17. A healer
18. A good listener
19. An organizer
20. A good father
21. Very clean
22. Sympathetic
23. Athletic
24. Warm
25. Entive
26. Gallant
27. Intelligent
28. Funny
29. Creative
30. Tender
31. Strong
32. Understanding
33. Tolerant
34. Prudent
35. Ambitious
36. Capable
37. Courageous
38. Determined
39. True
40. Dependable
41. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
42. Give her compliments regularly
43. Love shopping
44. Be honest
45. Be very rich
46. Not stress her out
47. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, MUST ALSO:
48. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
49. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
50. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
51. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
*Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes

a n d

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Leave him alone

Recruitment Rules

2007-08-17T20:36:00.000+05:30

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks and trying to keep it locked, put them in the Accounts Department.

If they go on recounting bricks, put them in Auditing Department.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering Department.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations Department.

If they are sleeping, put them in Security Wing.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

If they are sitting idle and staring at the roof, put them in Human Resources Department.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales Department.

If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing Department.
If they are staring out of the window, put them on Strategic Planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved,

congratulate them and put them in the Top Management.

A Well of Wisdom

2007-08-12T16:57:00.000+05:30

There was a miserly man whose wife was very generous. But the wife did not have access to her husband's money. They had so much money that they could easily have helped their village. For months people suffered from drought and famine. Because of the drought there was not enough food and people were dying of starvation. The wife begged the husband to dig some wells so that at least their neighbors could have water. But the husband did not want to spend money to dig wells.

The wife said, "Who knows, by digging in the ground, perhaps even I can find water."

So she asked their one servant to help her dig a well at a particular place. The wife herself, a respectable lady, joined the servant in digging. Every day they dug, but they found no water. The husband laughed and laughed and said, "Yes, you can dig for a year and there will still be nothing. Only the well of your stupidity is getting deeper."

One day the servant had a clever idea. He said, "Mother, we are working hard, but your husband is being so unkind and cruel. Let us play a trick."

"What kind of trick?" the wife asked.

The servant said, "Every morning your husband comes to laugh at us. Let's put some oil on the ground where we are digging. When he sees the oil, he will get very excited. He will employ many workers and servants, thinking we have found oil here. They will dig and, who knows, perhaps there will be some water here."

The following day the husband came and saw the oil on the ground. He was excited and said to himself, "I want to take credit for discovering this oil." Then he said to his wife and servant, "Will you do me a favor today? Can you bring me something from the market? I'll give you anything you want if you do me this favor."

They went to the market to buy what he requested. The wife was totally innocent; she had forgotten about the oil trick. In the meantime, the husband brought 20 workers to continue digging at the same place so that he could take credit for discovering oil. They worked for a few hours and finally hit water.

The workers were thrilled to find water, but the owner of the house was disappointed. He said, "Who wants water? I wanted oil so I could sell it and become richer. How can I sell water? I can only give it to my neighbors."

The wife and the servant came back from the market and were delighted to see the water. The husband told them, "How can this happen? This morning I saw oil on the ground. I hired workers to dig for it. This morning there was oil, but now there's only water."

The wife said, "Money and power surrender to the well of wisdom."

"What are you talking about?" asked the husband.

"This is a result of our servant's wisdom. We tried so hard to find water but we failed. Then he had a brilliant idea. Knowing how miserly you are, he guessed that if you saw oil on the ground where we were digging, then you would start digging for oil. God wanted you to help the needy. God didn't want you to become richer by discovering oil."

THE MAGIC MANTRA FOR ALL

2007-08-08T22:31:00.000+05:30

Warren Buffet is the second richest man in the world, also the donar of $31 billion to charity.
Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:

1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!

2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.

3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.

4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.

5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.

6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.

7) He has given his CEO's only two rules.

Rule number 1: Do not lose any of your share holder's money.

Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.

8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.

9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.

10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.

11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.

Impossible

2007-08-08T22:25:00.000+05:30

Impossible is just a big word
Thrown around by small men
Who find it easier to live in the world
they have been given
Than to explore the power they have, to change it.

Impossible is not a fact; it's an opinion.
Impossible is not a declaration it's a dare,
Impossible is temporary,
Impossible is potential,
Impossible itself has in it � Possible.

Hang on to each other

2007-08-06T22:29:00.000+05:30

This is story written by an unknown author. It is a heart-touching story.

Too often we feel alone. But there is always someone ready to take our hand. There is a beautiful story of an overworked nurse who escorted a tired, young man to her patient's bedside. Leaning over and speaking loudly to the elderly patient, she said, "Your son is here."

With great effort, his unfocussed eyes opened, then flickered shut again. The young man squeezed the aged hand in his and sat beside the bed. Throughout the night he sat there, holding the old man's hand and whispering words of comfort.

By morning's light, the patient had died. In moments, hospital staff swarmed into the room to turn off machines and remove needles. The nurse stepped over to the young man's side and began to offer sympathy, but he interrupted her.

"Who was that man?" he asked.

The startled nurse replied, "I thought he was your father!" "No, he was not my father," he answered. "I never saw him before in my life."

"Then, why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"

"I realized he needed his son and his son wasn't here," the man explained. "And since he was too sick to recognize that I was not his son, I knew he needed me."

Mother Teresa used to remind us that nobody should have to die alone. Likewise, nobody should have to grieve alone or cry alone either. Or laugh alone or celebrate alone.

We are made to travel life's journey hand in hand. There is someone ready to grasp your hand today. And someone hoping you will take theirs.

Remember to hang on to one another!

God

2007-07-30T22:31:00.000+05:30

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Sardarji-another Sardarji

2007-07-28T23:06:00.000+05:30

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money
he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told
him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2, 00,000 in a paper bag
and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show
it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept
beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag.

Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2, 00, 000 in cash with a note saying:

"How can a Sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

laughter, the best medicine

2007-07-28T15:07:00.000+05:30

Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free,
jaana free,
pakde gaye to khana free.

Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!

Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative;
More the success, more the relatives.

Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
we need your heads to run our business.

A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be.....

THE BEST ONE:
Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations;
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.

Today's moral story

2007-07-27T22:14:00.000+05:30

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER .

............................................................................................................................................................ Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself .

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

2007-07-26T22:32:00.000+05:30

Count every "F " in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF
YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED
WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?

WRONG, THERE ARE 6-- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.> It will drive them crazy.!> And keep them occupied> For several minutes..!

woman=problem?

2007-07-22T22:03:00.000+05:30

HAVE A GOOD DAY

2007-07-21T23:03:00.000+05:30

When I Asked God for Strength, He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face;

When I Asked God for Brain & Brown, He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve;

When I Asked God for Happiness, He Showed Me Some Unhappy People;

When I Asked God for Wealth, He Showed Me How to Work Hard;

When I Asked God for Favors, He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard;

When I Asked God for Peace, He Showed Me How to Help Others;

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted;

He Gave Me Everything I Needed

- Swami Vivekananda

Interview

2007-07-19T22:27:00.000+05:30

Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Sardar : Bad.
Interviewer : Come.
Sardar : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Sardar : Pichlli.
Interviewer : U G L Y?
Sardar : PICHLLY !!!!!!!
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Sardar : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Sardar : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Sardar : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Sardar : I am Selected. BALLE BALLLE

Oh God! Taxmen

2007-07-15T15:43:00.000+05:30

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks,
But nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to
God , India ,they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Minister in Delhi ,and those monkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes..."

Easy And Difficult

2007-06-26T17:33:00.000+05:30

Easy And Difficult

Easy is to get a place is someone's address book, Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart.
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others,Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinkingDifficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive othersDifficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.Difficult is to follow them...
Easy is to dream every night.Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to pray every night.Difficult is to find God in small things...
Easy is to promise something to someone.Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of othersDifficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive,Difficult is to give...
Easy to read this,Difficult to follow...
Easy is keep the friendship with words,Difficult is to keep it with meanings...

IN THE LINE OF FIRE

2007-06-20T22:07:00.000+05:30

IN THE LINE OF FIRE… REALLY WORTH READING!!!

Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do. He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look.

He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.
This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in.Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centres across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrency; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. "You design and code such things."

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the Project Manager,"

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat.

"Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realisation. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

"I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..."

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety."

"But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded."

"His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now, as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part of life; a valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir."

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tricolour. Suddenly as if by impulse,he stood at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: The incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and his various other acts of bravery he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra the nation's highest military award.

Live humbly, there are great people around us, let us learn!
inners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated!

Courtasy: a mail from friend.

Winners and Losers

2007-06-19T21:59:00.000+05:30

Do you want to win or lose in your career, in school, in a business,

or just in the game of life in general??

The choice is yours!

A winner says, "If it is to be, it is up to me."

A loser says, "I can't help it."

A winner translates dreams into reality.

A loser translates reality into dreams.

A winner empowers.

A loser controls.

A winner says, "Let's find out."

A loser says, "Nobody knows."

A winner is part of the solution.

A loser is part of the problem.

A winner is not afraid of losing.

A loser is afraid of winning.

A winner works harder than a loser.

A loser is always "too busy."

A winner says, "I was wrong."

A loser says, "It wasn't my fault."

A winner "wants to".

A loser "has to".

A winner makes time.

A loser wastes time.

A winner makes commitments.

A loser makes promises.

A winner says,"I'm good, but not as good as I can be."

A loser says."I'm not as bad as a lot of other people"

A winner listens.

A loser just waits until it's his/her turn to talk.

A winner catches people doing things right.

A loser catches people doing things wrong.

A winner learns from others.

A loser resents other.

A winner sees opportunities.

A loser sees problems.

A winner does it.

A loser talks about it.

A winner feels responsibility for more than his job.

A loser says, "I only work here."

A winner says, "There ought to be a better way."

A loser says, "That's the way it's always been done."

A winner celebrates others.

A loser complains about others.

A winner is willing to "pay the price."

A loser expects it on a "silver platter."

A winner expects success.

A loser expects failure.

Remember: There is no time to lose, but so much time to WIN! So be sure to MAKE it a WINNING life!

2007-06-17T14:51:00.000+05:30

25 years ago......

A program was ... a television show
An application was ... for employment
Windows were..... something u hated to clean
A cusor ... used profanity
A keyboard was ...a piano
Memory was...something u lost with age
A CD was... a bank account
If u unzipped in public u went to jail
Compress was something u did to garbage
A hard drive was ...a long trip on the road
Log on was ...adding wood to fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was ...where a mouse lived
Cut.. u did with scissors
Paste.. u did with glue
A web was... a spiders home
And a virus was... the flu!!...

Yes! Times surely have changed. Is it not?

It's my blog

2007-06-17T14:22:00.000+05:30

with the blessings of Lord of Lords

...valluri.